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CIMG0244

2011-12-10T13:01:00.001-08:00

Thanks for always having my back.

2011-03-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

Looking back at last night, I'm pretty sure it was a close call and I could have gotten in trouble. I am so thankful I've skated by thus far with out getting in serious trouble. There have been a lot of close calls and all, but at the end of the day, I've always had at least one good friend that looks out for me. I just want to say thanks to those of you who have had my back all these years.
So... I know I've said this many times before, but I am not going to drink for awhile. Sure its fun, but I'm sick of going out and wasting weekends feeling like shit. It was cool back in the day, but now I need a full day to recover. So if anyone sees me pick up a drink, I would like you to do me a favor by slapping it out of my hand. The only exception to this new rule are special occasions (i.e. birthdays). I am not going to lie... I am not going to enjoy this, but it must be done.

All down hill?

2011-03-11T16:31:00.000-08:00

For some reason I am not as excited for this up coming birthday as I have been in years past. I think its cause there isnt really any reason to celebrate. I know Im not that old, but Im just getting older, its kinda depressing. Its not like years past where there was a milestone to hit. I guess it really is all down hill from here. Regardless I love a good party as much as anyone else and plan to enjoy myself. Good thing there is always something happening on my bday.

I was just thinking...

2011-03-07T03:53:00.000-08:00

To many people aren't willing to lay it all on the line for things they are passionate about. It pisses me off seeing people piss away their potential because they are too afraid to lose. Why the fuck are you afraid? Sure failure stings, but the reward is greater than the shot to your ego. Either way its a learning experience. Personally I'd rather fail trying then end up regretting my old life because I was too afraid to fall. Get out there... Go big, then go home.

allow me to explain

2011-01-25T20:01:00.000-08:00

a little back story on that last post...
I joined the Marine Corps a little over a year ago. I'm glad I did, in a lot of ways it has changed me for the better. i wouldnt want to change that. currently, I am stationed in san diego, ca. I work at a squadron call vmfat101.
i hate this place with a passion. it has made me so miserable. having to wake up each day and go back drains the life out of me. each day is filled with regret. i just hate what i do. i did not join the get tossed in a black hole.

digging deeper...
so like i said, i've been in for a little more than a year. in that time, some of the things that have left a sour taste in my mouth are:
*I didnt get the job i wanted (I am ordnance, i wanted crash-fire rescue).
*I've been screwed out of at least 2 opportunities of getting promoted early (technically 4, but we wont get into the details.)
*i've seen complete pieces of shit get exactly what they wanted without deserving it.

okay well i've vented way too much and thats all these last two post were. dont get me wrong, the marine corps isnt all bad. its just not what i expected. there are days when I absolutely love it. those days are just few&far in between.

like i said in the last post, i will be blogging more. its been way too long. keep following, i promise it will be a lot more than me bitching&moaning about how miserable I am. thanks for listening.

no where to run

2011-01-25T19:32:00.001-08:00

you have no clue what stress is. you have no idea what is feels like to wake up and have to go back to the same place, and do the same thing every single day. there is no getting fired, there is no 2 weeks notice, there is absolutely nothing you can do to to escape. the only option is to wait it out until your time is up.
honestly i am pretty fucking miserable right now. my only escape from it is going out and having a few drinks on the weekends. dont judge.

Interesting night...

2009-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

First post in awhile. sorry.

Yesterday I went to a firefighter test prep class being held by the Asian American Firefighter Association. After that I swung by church to pick up my bike. Stayed awhile to talk with some people since I haven't been around in awhile. Anyway, I was outside talking to our youth pastor and a couple asked if we knew where a PF Chengs was. I nearly LOLed, but managed to only let out a chuckle. The reason I found it so funny is because we were in Chinatown. Since they were in Chinatown, I asked them if they actually wanted the authentic thing. I then told them that PF Chengs isn't Chinese food. Since most places were closed I told them to go to Sam Wo. This totally reminded me of a scene in Ping Pong Playa. If you haven't seen it, see it.

Anyways, I rode my bike back home and go through golden gate park. As I am exiting ggp, I see a whole family of Amish people. Well they look like Amish people. Same clothing, the hats, the beards on the men. It was a total wteff moment. I really wanted to take a picture, but I didn't have a camera =(. That's not all though, they were going into ggp at like 12am-ish. Hilarious.

Oh well, I'll update on the rest of my life later.

crap

2009-05-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

arg... i feel like crap. I don't want to go to class tonight =[

oops...

2009-05-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

So much for updating this everyday. I just got my laptop back this weekend (but its no excuse since it was only in the shop for 2 weeks) I'll update later. I'm tired. My stupid dog woke me up and I had to walk her at 5 am... been awake since then -_-.

"A dollar for marijuana"

2009-03-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

was downtown today. While near the cable cars on powell and market, a black woman was asking people for "a dollar for marijuana." She asks one guy in plain clothes and he pulls out his badge and says "wrong person to ask." He then proceeded to walk down the escalator LOL It was hilarious.

update

2009-03-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated for awhile... sorry =[

Not much has been going on since my last post. Just hanging out from time to time and school. I hate school... I wish I didn't have to go.

Was in San Jose for a few days finally had La Vic's again. Went to Santa Cruz as well. Came back pretty mad. Got home pretty late Friday night.

I don't have much for me here. I am leaving for awhile after this summer.

Happy Bday to me...

2009-03-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't updated this thing in awhile. Been lazy.

Yesterday was my bday. Didn't do much, since I had school. I went to a bar for lunch. Went back to class really buzzed from 2 drinks. Went to play ball with some friends. Then went to dinner and thats about it.

Today I stayed in bed all day pretty much. I wish I hadn't but too late now. Right now I am debating whether or not I should pick up my bike from my mom's house and ride as far as I can and come back tmrw night. Should I head north or south?
I think I am going to drop my English class. I don't think I can get the grade that I want, I'd rather take a W instead of a shitty grade.

Today, I realized I don't really have any reason to stay in the bay. I think I am going to leave after this summer. Take a break from school and regroup.

Final note... It would have been nice to hear your voice on my bday, but hey... at least I know what I rank, right?

Lazy Days...

2009-03-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling really lazy lately. Been missing some class here and there =[ ... need some motivation. Update on life later.

Last night....

2009-03-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

Last night I was so close to calling you. I don't know why. Just a sudden urge. Like I said before these feelings come up randomly. I miss having someone to hold. I miss having someone to share my joys and sorrows with. I hate having these feelings... it makes me feel so helpless.

Anyway... my warriors tickets came in today =D. Cant wait to go to the games. I have to clean my room soon. It looks like the tazmanian devil came through here.

Awesome night

2009-03-07T02:02:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not updating this whole week. I've been feeling pretty tired/lazy. The whole week I missed my 8am class =[. I gotta fucking step it up and not do that shit anymore.

Monday: School all day 9am-9pm.
Tuesday: EMT, then goodwill, bought some pants for 5 bucks and trivial pursuit digital choice for 6.99 (retails for 50). Both brand new.
Wednesday: Didn't go to school. Sister lost our dog, then found her again (fucking retard). Went biking around then headed home.
Thursday: EMT study group, bought a white polo for Friday, went home. Headed out to small groups. Then went home.
Friday: Missed 8 am class. Went to 9am class. Went home. Ate food. Got ready for my ride along.

Ambulance Ride Along: Went on my ride along. Ran the last couple of blocks cause I didn't want to be late. Waited around for an hour with the emt and medic for their ambulance to get back to the station only to find out that the ambulance they were supposed to use was working an extra 5 hours. Got a different ambulance. Headed out.

First call: was a drunk guy passed out on the street.
Second call: was canceled in route.
Third call: was pretty interesting: it was a 25 yom w/ an irregular heartbeat. He was put on an i.v. drip and given oxygen and taken to the hospital. But the interesting part was that he was deaf/mute so it was difficult to communicate with him.
Forth call: This call was just before the shift ended. 25 yom, intoxicated, had pain in the left hand from punching something. soft tissue injury.

All in all it was a fun night. I was with an emt/paramedic combo. They were pretty cool guys. I'm glad I didn't see some crazy shit. Kinda wish we responded to the gunshot wound that was in the bayview. After the ride along, I am considering just being an emt or paramedic. Got scared a couple times cause I thought I heard my addresses over the radio.

beer pong, lost sweater/wallet and a broken camera

2009-03-01T05:54:00.001-08:00

Its really late right now. Can't believe I am even still awake.
Friday: School, Ball: played 4on4, my friend was on my team. The other two guys on our team didn't know how to play -_- so basically it was 2on4. Went home. cleaned? kinda. haha. showered and napped. Went to a friend of a friend's bday thing. Played some:
Now that is what you call proper technique =D
Anyway... I think I may have played one too many games. I got home. Got past the front gate with no problem, but I must have been trying to get into the front door for at least 5 minutes. I was considering giving up and sleeping outside. I finally got in. I wake up a little hung over... I am missing my sweater which contains my wallet and my camera is now broken and I didn't use it. So if anyone from the party knows where it is, I need it back and whoever broke my camera better watch out cause I'll find you. And you'll pay!

Today: Went to the giants dugout for a job fair. Was told the wrong time so I ended up being there an hour and a half after the job fair actually ended. Filled out an application anyways. Road around a bit. Stopped to study. Went downtown. Met up my friend and then got free Jamba Juice (thanks again!). I knew the whole store, went to high school with 5 of them. I wonder if all five of them applied there and got the job at the same time. Went to a friends house for dinner and to ketchup. Borrowed her ukulele. Started to teach myself how to play when I got home and then pick up my guitar =D. I'll post a video of the song I am learning once it is good enough.

I was looking at old pictures of us. We both look so genuinely happy. Where did it all go wrong? It'd be a lie if I said I never think about it. I do sometimes, randomly, I am just reminded of it by things that I see; little things. At times I still have a tiny sliver of hope that things will get mended and then we can go back to the way things were before the shit hit the fan. Its a weird feeling. I have no idea whyI have it either. I know that hoping for something like that would be futile. I mean it's been awhile and we've both changed so much... its not happening. I'm probably just yearning for that sort of connection. Who knows? It'll work it self out though.

"Don't fuck with my people!"

2009-02-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Today: went to school to study for EMT. Headed back home. Headed out again to go biking. Biked around, went to a cafe. Went to the library. Went to the mall. Headed home. Walked my dog. Got yelled at by some black guy after my dog took a shit on my neighbor's lawn. Yes, I did pick it up right away. I thought the guy was yelling at someone else at first. Then I keep hearing him and figure out he was yelling at me. He was like "Don't fuck with my people!...I'll kick your ass... Don't fuck with my people!" I held up the bag of shit so he could see. He then proceeds to walk across the street and inspect where my dog took the shit. He continues to yell at me. "Don't fuck with my people!...I'll kick your ass... Don't fuck with my people!" I then proceeded to explain that I know the neighbor and that I did in fact pick up the shit. He continues saying the same shit and I tell him that "I'm not trying to fuck with anyone's people... I picked up the shit... We are all the same people on the insides anyway... have a nice night sir." He continued talking shit as he walked across the street.
"Don't fuck with my people" This wasn't friends/homies "people," it was a race "people." I hear the same tone of voice used by other black people. Every time I hear that tone, its when a black person is responding to something that they see as a personal attack on their race. Stop making everything into a race issue. Not everyone is out to get you because you are black.
I was really pissed off by this shit. First of all, if I were black, this guy most likely wouldn't have said shit. Second, it was dark outside, this guy is an idiot for doing that. He doesn't know who I am or whether or not I am carrying a weapon. He could have gotten hurt by someone who was really out to "fuck with his people" Third, I don't appreciate being yelled at and threatened by a stranger outside my home. Forth, don't open your fucking mouth before you know what is going on. Fifth, if I were really out to fuck with your people you fucking retard, I wouldn't do so by having dog take a shit on someones lawn.

Proud of myself

2009-02-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

Monday: I was feeling hella tired and lazy. I went to school and was gonna skip out on my chem lab cause of of my tired lazy feeling, but ended up not. Really proud of myself for keeping up with that goal (attend all classes). I went to the gym then went to my night class. Fell asleep a bunch of times, but the teacher was lecturing about water and water sources for firefighting. I think I heard most of it though. I also saw some dude yack out side the window for like 2 minutes straight, no lie, true story. I'll put the picture I took of him later. Damn ccsf network wont let me do it. okay home now... here's the picture:
LOL Poor guy.

Tuesday: EMT class. Got to class. Learned to traction and single pole splint (mid femur fracture). Excited for my ambulance ride along coming up next Friday. I'm also a bit nervous about it. I don't feel like I know a lot. Hopefully they don't ask me to do something crazy. I'm going to study like crazy so I know what I am doing.
The warriors were selling tickets for 8 buck (upper reserve) + a 2 dollar online fee which is pretty fucking stupid if you ask me since its only available online. Its still a good deal. It's cheaper than going to the movies. I bought a pair for each of the three games (March 30, April 1, April 8) they had for that price. I now have all my books for my classes along with my awesome pen light.

Today: I've slept so much the past few nights. Feels great to be this rested. Done with class for the day. I want to go riding later, hope it doesn't rain. The sun is trying to fight through the clouds. I really hate my English class. My teacher is pretty scattered in her thought process. I haven't turned in anything for that class, but I didn't have my books at the time (just got them in).

EDIT: On my way home some black guy and girl asked me for a cigarette. When I said no, the guy proceeded to hit on me by making comments about how healthy I look and how great my legs are. Why hasn't this happened with woman? Damn it FML.

Went to play ball at cc. I hate playing there. People don't know how to play and don't play by real rules. Home now. Showered up, going to get some sleep soon.

Fucking Assholes

2009-02-23T04:08:00.000-08:00

Saturday: Went to a BBQ, played ball, ate food, met new people. After the BBQ went to someones house. Slept in the car for 3 hours while others drank. Went inside and used the restroom. Left, had a beer while leaving. Went to in&out then home. Fun day... would have been more fun of a day had the constant jokes and one liners about my drinking (problems?) been absent from it. But hey, guess you assholes have nothing better to do, right? I wasn't even going to say anything but after hearing shit on and off for 13 hours, it got to me. Whats worst? Even after I say something about the jokes/remarks bothering me, people still have to throw shit out there for giggles as we are saying our goodbyes. Lets throw your fucking shit out there next time for strangers for the whole fucking day. Do I fucking bust you out on your flaws/problems when you first meet someone? No, I don't but, maybe I should do that from now on.

I love alcohol. I love to drink it. I like to have a good time and if I choose to drink away my troubles and try to forget about shit, that's my fucking business. Am I hurting any of you fuckers for making this decision or does it affect any of you? NO it doesn't! Sometimes it brings me more trouble, but honestly I don't give a fuck if it does... the good out weighs the bad. So what if I do sometimes cry when I get drunk? So do some of you fuckers that were making jokes about it. And you fuckers drink as much if not more often. Next time this shit fucking happens I swear to God I will punch someone in the fucking face, true story, no lie. And I don't care if I lose friends over it, if you are pulling shit like that are you really a friend? What would a real friend do, make jokes? So, seriously, stop being a bunch of assholes, get and get a fucking life you fucking bitches.

Sunday: slept the day away, woke up, ate some food, went out to play basketball. Lost the first game, disappointed in the way I played. Got to step it up the next game and take control of the floor. Full NCAA sized court > than my current conditioning. Next week, will do better for sure.

Have to wake up in an hour to head to school, I need to stop staying up all night.

Sleep... Oh Glorious Sleep!

2009-02-21T02:32:00.000-08:00

I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night. I just couldn't sleep so I was either on my toplap or attempting to sleep the whole night. Thursday: I decided to go biking. So bike around the city and ended up downtown. Officially reunited with my old cologne =D.

Went clubbing at night. The event was called Sensual Seduction. It was kinda whack. Held by Bay Hype. Most of the music was too much ghetto for my taste and all of it pretty much sounded the same, that killed it pretty bad. The guy to girl ratio was between 6 or 7- 1. Please if you are going to put that there is a dress code on the flyer, actually make people follow it. Most of the people not following the dress code were black males. They weren't wearing collared shirts, all black or dress shoes. They had grills, hats and beanies. Later I learned from a friend that they were promoters for Bay Hype. I don't know about you, but I would want my employees having more of a professional appearence. So that being said, I'd give last nights event a 3/5 only because it was free.
So, Last night I realized how fuck in the head I am. Wasting time texting, not dancing with cute girls who wanted to dance. I shall learn from this and move on.
After the club, went to lucky chances to get some food. I am not eating there for a long time. They fucked up my order. I didn't know swiss cheese was orange! I was hella craving halo halo for the longest time and I finally got some. It didn't taste so good and to top it off there was a piece of hair in it =[. Fuckers. Got home at 4:30 and KOed.
Woke up at 7, chased after the bus on the bike. Almost ate it while avoiding a car who didn't know how to make a left turn. Got to school in one piece and on time too! Went home, showered and slept the day away ^_^. It was by far the best feeling ever to get 12 hours of sleep. Going to try to not do all of this again.

Job fair in the morning, wish me luck.

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Now playing: Jesse McCartney - It's Over
via FoxyTunes

EDIT: Please don't fucking call me cause you are in the neighborhood asking to use my bathroom that late at night. What if I was asleep?!? Actually, I don't mind at all, I just wish all of it wasn't accompanied by a bunch of fucking bullshit attitude cause you couldn't find parking. And as soon as I come out, so you can double park or w/e and go use the bathroom while I wait outside... what do you do? Say you are fucking leaving?!?! wtf man don't pull that shit again.

Chem test. FML

2009-02-19T03:34:00.000-08:00

Today, I woke up late (no alarm) and missed my first class. I got to my second class just in time to take the chem test. Don't think I did too well... I didn't have my book yet. The book for that class came in today after I needed it (FML) along with my EMT book. Still waiting on 3 books and the awesome pen light to come in. As I was walking to the balboa park station from city some navy recruiters stopped a friend and I and shoved a card in our faces. I guess they noticed his ROTC pin on his bag. Any way, if you don't already know, I had been thinking about maybe, possibly joining a branch of the Armed Forces that has less of a chance of me getting shot at (Navy, Coast Guard). So maybe it was a sign. Who knows?

Pretty fun night, went bowling and had dessert. Had some banana cream pie and chili cheese fries (in that order). =p yum! Might go clubbing tomorrow night. Now its time to study, job hunt, and sleep. No more staying up late for me except when I don't have school. Thank god for no school on Thursdays.

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Now playing: The Lonely Island - I'm on a Boat (feat. T-Pain)
via FoxyTunes

Goals For 2009

2009-02-17T23:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I had EMT class. I spent most of the time watching the Tour of California w/o any sound on my toplap =D haha. I had no idea it went through SF during the weekend. I wish I could have went to San Jose today for the start of the race. It would have made my day. A burrito from La Vic's and biking <3.

Go to class everyday and no partying during the week.
Go to sleep by 10.
Be more punctual
Get a job.
Get nationally registered as an EMT-B.
Get a car and/or get a motorcycle + M class license.
Move into my own place.
Take better care of myself (i.e less salt and butter on food, more exercise, etc).
Have fun!
Become a better person.
Turn my weaknesses into strengths. (not to many things need to be done for this one =D jk)
Try new things (as always).
Be able to dunk.
Find Love? (maybe)
Learn to play the piano.
Do some MMA for reals.
Stop ripping pages out of my notebook.

They arent in any particular order... just what ever came to mind. Its a long list... hope I can keep up.

Finally No Rain!

2009-02-17T00:12:00.000-08:00

So the rain finally let up for a little while (thank God). Just in time too, my family was driving me crazy... I really needed to get out. I got to ride a bit then hopped on the 44 to head to the sunset. I sat at Starbucks for 2 hours. I really dislike that place... their coffee taste like shit. I'd much rather go to some privately owned coffee shop/ cafe... but Starbucks is so convent to get to. They are open late and have stores everywhere.

Decided to bike around ggp after Starbucks.

Ninja Biker?

Went to Wonderful Foods (they have great tapioca and hella candy) and Got some Almond tapioca w/ almond jelly. Try the Strawberry Banana Tapioca too. =P yum!

It started to rain again =[ so I had to end the night.
I saw this one while waiting at the bus stop.

Today wasn't a total bust, but all in all, this weekend was pretty whack. I've been off since Wednesday morning 10am and its been raining for since then... That's 6 days of rain. I was stuck in the house for a lot of that time. To top it off, I didn’t do much on Valentine’s/ Single Awareness day. I mean I’ve never been that big on Valentine’s Day, it really is just another day in the year. Even if it is a total Hallmark Holiday, it would still have been nice to spend it with someone special. Oh well... next time I guess.

Oh yeah... I have a midterm on this coming Wednesday and should probably study, but I just ordered my books the other day -_- FML. Hopefully I'll have them all by mid-week.

Jumping on The Bandwagon

2009-02-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

It seems like everyone and their mother is blogging again so I decided to join in all the fun =D. That being said, let me start off by explaining the title of this blog. It's a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption, if you haven't seen it you definitely should. It's a movie about having hope in the face of adversity. It taught me that to reach our goals we have deal with all the shit life throws at us even if it takes a lifetime. Hope is an important thing to have. Without it you have nothing. Just watch the movie... you'll understand.

So I was reading a friend's blog and he recommend watching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd_ptbiPoXM. Watch it... It's an awesomely inspirational speech given by Steve Jobs to the Standford class of 05.

I am almost dead tired from being awake all night so time to sleep. I'll keep this updated daily with whatever comes to mind. Thanks for subscribing!

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Now playing: Ten Feet - Tumblin' Down
via FoxyTunes